Healing Doesn’t Just Happen

It has been over a year since my last post, and it has not been from lack of subject matter.  It has been from the inability to act.  Paralysis of the heart and soul eat at me every day.    The event that has stolen my desire to enjoy life was not a seasonal thing, like football.  There is no "maybe next year" to get me through an unsuccessful year, no flipping pages of a calendar to mark the date that I can expect to be recovered.   When next year arrives, as it has three times, I do not find myself in a better place.   That is because healing of the soul doesn't just happen.  It requires effort that I have been unable/unwilling to invest.

The body will mend over time.  Small cuts quickly scab over and heal, leaving no trace of the injury.  Broken bones and surgeries take a little more external effort, but when the bones are set and the stitches are applied properly, the body works it's magic.  The passage of time is all that is needed from that point forward.   This method doesn't work on the soul.

The soul needs attention.  Unfortunately I know this all too well.  I have been living with the idea that I just need more time to get better, feel better.   That false belief is along the lines of hoping that your dog gains strength and grows, without giving him food, water, and attention.   My desire it to start feeding my soul once again, watering it giving it the attention it needs to stop withering.   If you have suffered loss and felt that you just need some time, please let my lost time encourage you to begin nurturing your soul today.  Help and encouragement from the outside-friends, professionals-may be needed as well. But without putting in the effort toward getting better that only you can, a different day, month, or year on the calendar will make no difference.

10 thoughts on “Healing Doesn’t Just Happen

  1. Susan Mallett

    You and Devi have put yourselves out there with transparency and bravery to try to help others. No one can know or understand your loss and its affect on all of you three..... But, there are those of us out here who garner a bit of your truths to stand stronger and taller in our less devastating losses. We all know degree of loss is relative and one cannot walk the walk of others, but you two have so beautifully shared your truths so that we may all use fragments to help piece together our shattered hearts; to help heal broken spirits; to know that what we see may not be what there is; and to understand that we can all play a part in someone else’s journey of hope.... God bless you, precious man, Donavan...

  2. Megan

    Thank you for your honesty about this deeply personal and painful part of our healing process. More than eight years after the loss of our precious daughter, I am still on my healing journey and feel it will be a lifelong process. Love you my sweet friend!

  3. Carri

    Dearest Donavan,
    Thank you for sharing your journey thus far. My heart both aches for your loss while celebrating your determination to choose a different path to find peace in your soul! You are an incredible man, and I pray for you each and every day. Kevin’s passing was a wake up call for me. I’d been living in fear and dispare for years. As I sat in the church and saw the children in their uniforms, and you, Devi, and Kyle hanging on to one another so tightly, I decided that I needed to shift the dark path I’d found myself walking for far far to long. The loss of Kevin gave me the strength to begin to heal my own soul. My life’s filled now with a joy I’ve not known before, and I feel free of the chains that bound me. May you find your way with God’s grace, his loving spirit, and his healing hands.
    Love you all so very much!

  4. Terry

    Donavan, I can't imagine the courage it took to put this post out for all to see. You have taken the first step in a long and never-ending healing process. The burden can lighten, but it will never be gone. The inability to move on is a testament to the strength of your love for Kyle, but there are others who still need you present and in the moment for both their good and bad times. I do not believe that God does not give us more than we can handle. I truly believe that He tests us so that we can humbly seek his will and move closer to Him. Kyle was a light that shone bright on earth and he is shining brighter in his new home. It seems he always tried to make people around him comfortable and full of joy. I know he would want you to find happiness again. You and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. Love you so much and will be praying that you find much needed comfort and healing through Jesus Christ. Always here for you.

  5. Rachel

    I am so excited that you desire to start feeding your soul again! That you desire anything at this point is a great victory and a huge answer to all of the prayers that have been prayed over you and your family. I am so grateful to God for victory and to you for being able and willing to share such a personal and painful journey. My prayer is to offer hope and encouragement or sometimes just love and comfort whenever the opportunity arises or even by accident. I am sure that all who know and love you feel so inept at offering what you may need at any given moment after such incredible loss including myself. Just know that we continue to stand with you and your family and pray for all of you, even when we don’t know what else to do.

  6. Linda

    Thank you for sharing truth from the heart and being real. You and Devi are such inspirations to me. Sometimes life turns out differently than we’d expected. Our choice lies in what we do with what we have. Much love to you guys!

  7. Donavan Leonard

    Thanks to all of you sweet encouraging friends. We know you are there for us and thank you for your love. I want to grow again, and am hoping and praying that by putting myself "out there" that others can help hold me accountable for my journey.

    1. Samantha

      I have daily prayed for this for you, for you to find some joy and hope in your future and I am very proud of you for taking a step that I know is so difficult. My prayers will continue as you take this huge step in healing.


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